I like Solitude

There are times I really appreciate being alone.

That seems to cause some problems, though. Many people think I am depressed if I choose to sit alone in the back room, rather than sit with others in the busier front room. No, its because I appreciate some quiet time. Right now I am on my lunch break at work, taking some time in the quiet conference room to write this blog. I find that writing is soothing, especially on a busy Saturday in the world of retail. It's almost like meditation.

However, the last time I tried to do this (the other day) some friends marched into the room and started demanding I tell them "what's wrong?" and started asking questions about my life, as if I was sad.

I don't like it when people pry into my life, either. So here I am, just taking some quiet time, and it turns into me being annoyed with friends. It really is a backwards cycle.

Last night, with the same group of friends (plus a few more) I decided to leave a social event "early." Though I would not consider it early, the reason I left so suddenly is because I really felt like some relaxation time. I had spent most of the afternoon and evening with these people, and I find I just get drained if I'm doing the same thing for a long period of time.

So I went home, relaxed, watched a bit of my favorite Star Trek series. Went to bed. It was a nice evening. I did not need to stay out late with people to have fun. I find it easier to go home and give myself a couple hours before bed to relax.

But so what?

The next day these people are like "how are you feeling?" "Are you okay?" Like, I don't have a problem. Seriously. There are just times I don't feel like hanging out.

There have been many nights where I have just gone home, relaxed, made some dinner, popped in a movie and then went straight to bed. There have been plenty of nights, too, where I have stayed out socially with people until the wee hours of the morning.

I just don't feel like doing that all the time. Just because I have a day off, doesn't mean I'm free to hang out.

I need friends who are okay with me doing what I want, coming and going. I'm not required to hang out with the same people on a regular basis. But sometimes I feel like I am. It can be annoying.

I guess all I am saying is that I like my solitude. I can appreciate quietness. If you are reading this, and happen to know me, then perhaps now you realize why I am "not very social" (as the eavesdropped words about myself ring constantly in my head).

Reading and writing are great alone-activities. And believe it or not, I kind of prefer it to socializing sometimes!