Connie Seguin

Connie Seguin

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I like Solitude

There are times I really appreciate being alone.

That seems to cause some problems, though. Many people think I am depressed if I choose to sit alone in the back room, rather than sit with others in the busier front room. No, its because I appreciate some quiet time. Right now I am on my lunch break at work, taking some time in the quiet conference room to write this blog. I find that writing is soothing, especially on a busy Saturday in the world of retail. It's almost like meditation.

However, the last time I tried to do this (the other day) some friends marched into the room and started demanding I tell them "what's wrong?" and started asking questions about my life, as if I was sad.

I don't like it when people pry into my life, either. So here I am, just taking some quiet time, and it turns into me being annoyed with friends. It really is a backwards cycle.

Last night, with the same group of friends (plus a few more) I decided to leave a social event "early." Though I would not consider it early, the reason I left so suddenly is because I really felt like some relaxation time. I had spent most of the afternoon and evening with these people, and I find I just get drained if I'm doing the same thing for a long period of time.

So I went home, relaxed, watched a bit of my favorite Star Trek series. Went to bed. It was a nice evening. I did not need to stay out late with people to have fun. I find it easier to go home and give myself a couple hours before bed to relax.

But so what?

The next day these people are like "how are you feeling?" "Are you okay?" Like, I don't have a problem. Seriously. There are just times I don't feel like hanging out.

There have been many nights where I have just gone home, relaxed, made some dinner, popped in a movie and then went straight to bed. There have been plenty of nights, too, where I have stayed out socially with people until the wee hours of the morning.

I just don't feel like doing that all the time. Just because I have a day off, doesn't mean I'm free to hang out.

I need friends who are okay with me doing what I want, coming and going. I'm not required to hang out with the same people on a regular basis. But sometimes I feel like I am. It can be annoying.

I guess all I am saying is that I like my solitude. I can appreciate quietness. If you are reading this, and happen to know me, then perhaps now you realize why I am "not very social" (as the eavesdropped words about myself ring constantly in my head).

Reading and writing are great alone-activities. And believe it or not, I kind of prefer it to socializing sometimes!

Drama Queens

So the entire duration of this Summer I have unfortunately been graced with the presence of what I like to call a "bad apple." Every social group has one: It's that person who thrives on starting drama, creates problems, etc etc.

So my boyfriend is on this trip in Ecuador, and occasionally photos are posted on Facebook. There is a photo of him, at a bar, posed for a picture with some chick, probably one of his tour-mates, with her arm over his shoulders. Who cares, right?

Well apparently this "friend" of mine care so much that she has been trying to get in contact with me for days, only to tell me that she thinks the photograph is "inappropriate." Wow, like oh my god. My boyfriend must be an awful person for letting another put her arms over his shoulders, according to her.

But the thing is, it's drunken hugs. I experience these occasions all the time: One of my male friends is leaving the occasion for the night, so I jump up and hug him. Sometime in my "drunken fury" I may even manage to knock myself over, as well as this male friend. Had someone taken a picture, and had it ended up on Facebook, it would more than likely appear at first glance that I am rolling around on the floor with a male friend. But, I'm not. And I don't hold my boyfriend or anyone else to higher standards than I hold myself.

I don't care what he does, as long as his pants stay on. But apparently this chick totally cares too much about what other people's boyfriends do:

Earlier this summer, she calls me up in a frantic pant about "THIS IS SO IMPORTANT. I NEED TO TALK TO YOU NAW!" So I seriously thought she got in a car wreck and landed in the hospital or something. So naturally, my senses were already at alert, and I dropped everything to call this gal back. Apparently the "important news" was this:

"Your boyfriend is a cheater." Why? Well she for some messed-in-the-head reason decided to Facebook stalk him, which lead her to Google stalk his email accounts, which lead her to Hot or Not profiles which by the looks of it he made as a teenager.

Really? So she got me all concerned just to piss me off. It's how she works: Gets you all concerned, has "important news" and tries to make something out of nothing. I told her if she wanted to continue talking to me, that she please not do stuff like that.

Didn't happen. She still does stuff like that. I guess people never change. However I did learn that anything she says is not to be taken seriously, at all.

Enjoy a sunny Friday, everyone!

Men should not be "Rocks."

The other day I was chatting with a friend and we were discussing men, and living with them, etc etc. This gal mentioned something about her growing used to her man, and without her "rock" there, she could not sleep.

It makes me wonder what this "rock" concept is that women seem to be so accustomed to. Are women losing their independence? I suppose when someone sleeps next to you, and suddenly is not there, then yes, the natural rhythm of sleep is disrupted. I have experienced that. But never have I been afraid to sleep alone. I have been sleeping alone longer than I have been sleeping with a man.

I grew up around a lot of money. Always had a huge house. I recall in high school, when I lived in the hugest of the houses, my dad would be out of town on business, my brother would be off doing his thing, and at the time I did not have any cats. I slept alone. I literally slept alone in 3300sqft of vacant property many nights. Vacant because nobody is living there. Furnished, yes, but so quiet. Very quiet. Particularly because the home backed to forest.

I didn't have trouble sleeping though. I was not scared. I never grew up to the rhythm of other's breathing whilst I sleep. This gal grew up in a small, crowded home. Where everyone was always there. Very welcoming home. So I can understand why sleeping alone may be difficult for her, and even scary.

But me? I don't mind it. It's not like I prefer it, but it just doesn't bother me. I am not afraid to sleep with nobody there. Even in the echoed environment of my hardwood floored home. It can seem empty. But it doesn't contribute to sleeping problems.

I don't need a "rock." I wouldn't even call him that.

But I have heard that term thrown around a lot by several of my female friends. It makes me wonder...where is the independence in this world?

Where would they be without their husbands, boyfriend, male roommates...?