On Teenage Marriages

What is the rush?

So I knew this girl growing up, and I don't really know her anymore. However, thanks to Facebook and whatnot, I still can see whats going on in her life (isn't it great how we know so much about everyone's lives now?). So she met this guy right after she turned 20. Five months later, he proposed. 5 months later, they got married. Crazy, right? But she was actually going to have a June wedding, but decided to pull it earlier because "my mom got married when she was 20. I want to get married whilst I'm 20 too." So she gets married right in time, before she turns 21. What a nice sentiment. But why? Why adjust your entire life based on this notion that you must do everything the way your mother did it? Why marry a guy you just met?

I know a handful of people who got married after their freshman year of college. Maybe its what people are doing nowadays. But its weird to me, now, that people a few years younger than me are getting married. And I'm only 21! I've always stuck to the sentiment that you should at least be old enough to drink at your own wedding. And even so, I feel like 21 (aka me) is a little young.

Don't get me wrong, I understand that everyone is different and people mature at different rates. But I really think that you're not giving yourself a chance to grow on your own as a person if you get married basically as soon as you leave your parents house.

Perhaps there is a subconscious need for these people. Like they just left their families, but they automatically need a new family, because they are scared of the in-between time. There is a time where you're not going to be recording "this is the _____ residence, please leave a message" on the message machine. And I think this is a crucial growing period.

I, myself was not able to grow at all as a person whilst living with my parents. Yeah, you get to discover your interests, hang out with friends, etc etc. But there was always something holding me back: I had to ask permission. Not saying that those young married gals are needing to ask their husband's permission to go out, but when they have kids and they never really knew what its like to decide on their own whether or not its a good idea to go out on any given night, then how are they supposed to form a 'yay' or 'nay' for their kids?

I also know that marriage doesn't necessarily entail kids, but many of them are having them. But that ones that don't have them yet, aren't they wondering "did I really make the right decision when I decided to spend the rest of my life with a guy I met 5 months ago?" Who knows. I know I would wonder that myself.

I do not think I could have become the person I am today if I had gotten married as a teenager. What would I even do with a baby? I would have still been a kid myself. Yet people are doing it. And they do it a lot. Whatever works, right? But does it work? I guess I'll check whatever social networking site is hip ten years from now and find out if it did.

Here's to well thought-upon decisions,

Until next time,

Me